Wednesday 11 June 2008

Subtle Serendipity

ACT I

His name lit up on my computer screen.

"Hi! I like your nick...sounds so sweet. How are you Windswept?"
"Is that why you click on my name because it sounds so "sweet"?" I retorted.
"No, of course not. I found your nick intriguing. Maybe, so do you. Where are you from?"
"I won't tell you." I tapped the keys stubbornly. Questions like this scares me.
"Do you have a c e l l p h o n e?" I typed quite hesitantly. Don't know what came over me to ask this to be honest.
"Course. If you want try sending me a message." He replied.
"Okay." Hmmm. I seemed a bit uneasy about this. Sending a text message to some stranger? That's just not me. But I did it in the end.
"So you're in Singapore?" He typed back.
How did he knew where I am from? The country code perhaps? I quipped.
"Can we be FRIENDS?" he typed the word friends in capital letters.
"As long as you won't express your feelings for me then why not?" I anxiously replied.
"Don't worry I won't express any feelings whatsoever or be too personal to you for that matter. I just want us to be friends."
"So I'm safe with you then?" I replied jokingly.
This time I felt so relieved. Expressing your feelings to a stranger over the internet on a large computer screen was just ridiculous. And we've only just been exchanging few words of nonsense for chrissakes! And besides, I'm not that kind of person who's easily persuaded by some sweet words from an internet-savvy stranger.
"Can we chat again Windswept?" He asked.
"Sure." I typed the word with a little smiley at the end.
"Don't worry you're safe with me." He also typed back with a little smiley at the end.
"So, tomorrow?" I tapped the keypads with excitement I felt a certain pulse skip.
"Yes. Tomorrow it is then". He typed back.
It was a fleeting moment. So fleeting that I still can't remember how our chat started and ended.
I went back into my apartment with a little anticipation.
Tomorrow...Tonight's certainly not the last.
I remembered that night after I said my evening prayer I slept with a smile on my face.

ACT II

I was alone in the flat one day. My mates were out shopping so the idea of having the flat all by myself was a luxury. I went inside my room, draw out the curtains to welcome the afternoon sun and had a lie in. The sun outside was tempting but the pressures from work made me too tired to even just walk.

Then I saw my cellphone perched on the little chair in front of the vanity table. I grabbed it and had a fiddle with it by checking text messages, deleting, scrolling... and then, I saw his number. Hmm...Shall I? or shall I not?

Those long months of chatting and sending text messages seemed not enough to fill the void of what we both wanted to do... to talk and to hear each other's voices or perhaps even more.

"How does he sound like?" I wondered. Curiosity started to crept in.

I checked my phone again, stared at his number and this time I bravely managed to press the phone keypad with stiffly cold fingers. I waited a second and then...


"His phone's ringing!" I thought nervously.

Then a voice:


"Hello?"


"Hello?" he said it strongly this time.


"Who's this?"


I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was quite the whole time. I just sat in my bed listening to his voice as if the world around me has suddenly stopped. I was transfixed by his deep and manly tone. My heart was hammering as if it will explode out from my chest.

I hung up straightaway. I was out of breath and I still could feel my body shaking. I couldn't believe I have just done such a stupid thing.

But just as I was still recovering from my nerve-wracking experience, I received a text message.

"Did you just call me?

"No, why?" I lied but still have the courage to ask.


"You see, I just received a call with no number registered on it. I guess it must be international."


"Must be your mom." "She's out of the country too, right?" I had to press on.


"My mom never calls me." "Was it you?" He asked.


I suddenly felt the color drained from my face. How embarrassing! Now I don't know whether to tell him the truth or not. But it's too late now. He already knew. He's too smart for this kind of crap.


"Yes, it was me." I conceded. "I'm sorry I hung up on you." I pressed the letters on the keypad too quickly as if those letters were bile that I had to get it all out of my system.


"Why did you do that?" He asked.


"Because I lost the courage to speak to you" I replied.

"Don't you know that at that very moment, all I ever imagined was you and your voice?"

"I want to hear your voice, Windswept"

"Will you call me again?

ACT III

After so many nightly chats and super long phone conservations went by, we decided to meet up.
I thought long and hard about this decision. Seems to me that my heart and mind were battling against each other. My heart wanted to see him but my mind was in doubt. I was in a dilemma all of a sudden.
I was anxious yet unafraid. Excited yet unsure. But, "what if?" Would I still be asking myself this question until my last breath?

So in a sunny October afternoon, there I was, packed, ready and excited yet dreading to climb the steps of the plane heading to Manila.
My heart was in turbulence. I had palpitations and I felt sick. Too scared to disembark.
"What have I done?" I asked myself guiltily.

Then a text: "where are you?" it read.
I anxiously replied " I'm nearly there".
"What are you wearing?" he asked. He wanted to know obviously because of all those months of sharing sweet nothings, we haven't been exchanging photos. The mystery behind the voice would soon be revealed.
"Hmm, what about you? what are you wearing? I texted him back.
"C'mon, you tell me"
"Okay, I'm wearing an orange top and cream-colored shorts." I replied.
"See you!"

Just then, I heard my name called out gently. I turned around and then I saw him. Him in a white crisp shirt, dark jeans and "barely there hair." To say that he's nice was an understatement. He was too good to be true!

I had butterflies in my stomach, I felt sick and I felt cold and clammy. I never felt this way before. But I liked the feeling. And I obviously doesn't want this to end.

He kissed me on the cheek too awkward to even say "hi" and held my clammy hand almost too embarrassed to hold him back too scared that my hand would reveal what I truly felt.
Then we stared at each other's eyes, smiled and started to talk just like old friends as we walked hand in hand towards the waiting car.

There were no fireworks or sparks and certainly no expectations the first time but it was all worth it. We both took our chances and tried whether we will stay firmly glued to each other and yet against all odds, we did.

So yes, we came a long way since our first meeting. He was a stranger at first, yet he became my best friend and my loving husband.

I finally found the man who loves me more than I love him :) and that I'd say was the best part.

Life only comes around once so make sure you spend it with the right person. For those of you who yearns to be loved, find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep and kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.

And you don't have to look too far, he might just be right under your nose!

ACT IV

Do you believe in dreams? Do you believe that at one point or another the images and emotions that are being conveyed during your sleep may actually be true?

I had this particular dream that seem to be very persistent that it was so unnerving for me to sleep thinking that this certain image would come back. The image itself wasn’t intimidating. It was the repeated presence in my sleep that makes it quite disturbing.

It goes like this:

I was in a certain room holding with one hand this white, humongous book while flipping through its blank pages on the other. When I reached the middle part of it, I saw an image. It looks like a blue pendulum in an orange background. I wasn’t sure whether it was a painting or just a random picture but the image was so vivid. I seem to be floating too at the same time while staring at the whole picture. The room was dark and it was only the image that gives the room its brilliance.

Every day, I looked for signs that would seem to bring meaning to the image but I can’t seem to find one. I looked for the colors that resembled the image but couldn’t see any.

Then it just stopped appearing. Just like that. I was so relieved to know that I can sleep more soundly now at least.

The next day was my trip back to the Philippines for my holiday. I was excited because I will see Jobert for the very first time.

And so we met. Kisses and smiles were exchanged.

The journey to his place seemed like forever. There was a long silence in between as I was still uneasy to sit beside him, while he seemed to be relaxed during the whole travel. He tried to reassure me by holding my clammy hand.

We reached his place after the long drive. I was exhausted. All I could think of was a shower and a well-made up bed for me.

As he opened the front door, imagine my surprise to see right in front of me the exact image that used to appear in my dream!

I stared at the painting for the longest time in utter disbelief.

“Where did you get that image from? Did you copy it from somewhere? And why these tints?” Questions started racing as if they were bullets being fired at him.

“No. It’s my idea. It just came straight from my mind and my inspiration.” “The colors are my favorite.” He replied.

“Why?” He asked me back.

“I can’t tell him. He might not believe me.” I thought. I felt so uneasy now.

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” He asked me again. His curiosity started creeping in.

“C’mon. What is it? Tell me.” He prodded.

“It’s just because…because…that exact image is the one that used to appear persistently in my sleep I still can’t believe it.” There I blurted it out finally. I’m sure I felt myself blushing for a second.

"Could this be the reason of it all.?" I said to myself.

"It's so surreal."

He looked at me with amusement in his eyes.

“Come here” he said.

2 comments:

KRIS JASPER said...

it's a long post but worth reading... it's like reading a pocketbook/novel... good post ate.

chezza said...

Thank you ;) Good thing you've got patience to read this, he,he,he...