Thursday, 26 June 2008
Moment To Your Lips
You summoned my senses by your succulent nature.
Provocatively, your rich and molten frost cascades through your soft body like a desire that runs through my veins.
Tempting, enticing.
Looking at you, my hunger has awoken my senses.
Suddenly feeling the sugar rush, famished no more.
Let me taste you for you are so desirable.
Even he, manly as he is was drawn by your enigmatic presence,
To which I so damn envy.
Him, biting you.
*Our Freebie Chocolate Cake from Mariel & Rose* (Thank you lovelies!)
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
Season of the Empty Nest
In a few months time, I will be in my new abode just round the corner, literally. I've realized that it isn't the comfort of work that I need at this stage of my professional life instead, I need growth and opportunity. I have no regrets in my current working environment though but I felt that I have already achieved what I needed to, career-wise. There is no more challenge for me. I am already in a comfortable place. Sure, I can do whatever I want, I have made my requests and they've all been granted, been dubbed as a "super nurse" (ahem), loved and respected. Basically, I can move freely in all directions except forward. I need more!
For a couple of years I was working in Neuro-ICU in Singapore and I felt at home. It was crazy and fulfilling at the same time. Now, I will be working in the same ICU but in a different setting this time. New beginning, new adventure.
My new home is just a few steps away from my current one but I am so excited I could fly!
So this August, I am officially leaving my nest and be spreading my wings to soar and explore!
Wish me luck!
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"Innocence" A painting by my husband :)
Monday, 23 June 2008
There He Was...
Lying on his nimbus air mattress bed with a weary look in his face yet still able to flash that amicable smile at me. I introduced myself.
"Ah, Cherry blossom" he said.
"Yup, that's me." I replied.
His face may be tired after a six hour long operation but his smile was the sweetest and the most sincere I have ever seen.
"How long have you been a nurse, Cherry darling?" he asked.
"Do you mind if I call you "darling?"
"No, no. Not at all." I told him. " I have been a nurse for more than a decade. Florence Nightingale would be so proud of me." I said.
"Ah, he called me "darling" that's just so sweet of him." I thought.
He's my ninety-two year old patient who have seen the world. The lines that were etched on his face marked a thin mask of love and contentment. He's a retired lawyer, a previous bank president, a loving husband, father and grandpa, and was married twice.
"My first marriage lasted for forty years. My first wife died of cancer. She was a special lady and my first love. My second wife was a famous actress and singer. I pursued her with much ardour. I felt happiness existed once more when I captured her heart. She gave me a reason to live again. We were married for twenty-seven years. Sadly, she died on Christmas Day." He said this with such a painful glow in his face, it made my heart melt.
"What's your secret for having such two successful marriages?" I asked.
At first he hesitated. Clearly choosing his words carefully.
"I think I am just blessed with such a capacity to love." He said.
"It was a rollercoaster ride but in the end, our love for each other triumphed." He added.
Looking at me intently, he said this thought provoking words, "I tell you this, Cherry darling: the most important thing in every relationship is not to let the sun go down with a wrath."
"It's absolutely true." I said to myself.
"Are you married Cherry?"
"Yes," I said.
"Children?"
"None as yet. My husband is in University at the moment you see." "Perhaps soon." I replied.
"Oh well, you're still young. You can still have as many children as you would like to have. Just enjoy your life, like I did mine."
"You're such a nice young lady and I'm proud to have known you even for such a short time."
He took my hand and gave it a kiss.
"It's my pleasure to have looked after you as well." I smiled coyly.
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Love Is
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
~Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis De Bernieres~
To the sweetest and perfect couple, who happened to be my parents, may you continue to:
- profess your undying love for each other
- walk hand in hand like blushing teen-agers
- set an example that perfect matches are made in heaven
- be happy
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY :)
Friday, 13 June 2008
To You
my heart sang for you,
as you have impressed me wholly,
imperfect oh so you are,
yet your simple strength showed,
never a prevaricator,
but always true,
with clasped palms,
i wish fervently that with you,
you'll reprieved me
from the mundane world
i am in
and that,
with you,
i hope to be loved.
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
Subtle Serendipity
His name lit up on my computer screen.
"Hi! I like your nick...sounds so sweet. How are you Windswept?"
"Is that why you click on my name because it sounds so "sweet"?" I retorted.
"No, of course not. I found your nick intriguing. Maybe, so do you. Where are you from?"
"I won't tell you." I tapped the keys stubbornly. Questions like this scares me.
"Do you have a c e l l p h o n e?" I typed quite hesitantly. Don't know what came over me to ask this to be honest.
"Course. If you want try sending me a message." He replied.
"Okay." Hmmm. I seemed a bit uneasy about this. Sending a text message to some stranger? That's just not me. But I did it in the end.
"So you're in Singapore?" He typed back.
How did he knew where I am from? The country code perhaps? I quipped.
"Can we be FRIENDS?" he typed the word friends in capital letters.
"As long as you won't express your feelings for me then why not?" I anxiously replied.
"Don't worry I won't express any feelings whatsoever or be too personal to you for that matter. I just want us to be friends."
"So I'm safe with you then?" I replied jokingly.
This time I felt so relieved. Expressing your feelings to a stranger over the internet on a large computer screen was just ridiculous. And we've only just been exchanging few words of nonsense for chrissakes! And besides, I'm not that kind of person who's easily persuaded by some sweet words from an internet-savvy stranger.
"Can we chat again Windswept?" He asked.
"Sure." I typed the word with a little smiley at the end.
"Don't worry you're safe with me." He also typed back with a little smiley at the end.
"So, tomorrow?" I tapped the keypads with excitement I felt a certain pulse skip.
"Yes. Tomorrow it is then". He typed back.
It was a fleeting moment. So fleeting that I still can't remember how our chat started and ended.
I went back into my apartment with a little anticipation.
Tomorrow...Tonight's certainly not the last.
I remembered that night after I said my evening prayer I slept with a smile on my face.
ACT II
I was alone in the flat one day. My mates were out shopping so the idea of having the flat all by myself was a luxury. I went inside my room, draw out the curtains to welcome the afternoon sun and had a lie in. The sun outside was tempting but the pressures from work made me too tired to even just walk.
Then I saw my cellphone perched on the little chair in front of the vanity table. I grabbed it and had a fiddle with it by checking text messages, deleting, scrolling... and then, I saw his number. Hmm...Shall I? or shall I not?
Those long months of chatting and sending text messages seemed not enough to fill the void of what we both wanted to do... to talk and to hear each other's voices or perhaps even more.
"How does he sound like?" I wondered. Curiosity started to crept in.
I checked my phone again, stared at his number and this time I bravely managed to press the phone keypad with stiffly cold fingers. I waited a second and then...
"His phone's ringing!" I thought nervously.
Then a voice:
"Hello?"
"Hello?" he said it strongly this time.
"Who's this?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was quite the whole time. I just sat in my bed listening to his voice as if the world around me has suddenly stopped. I was transfixed by his deep and manly tone. My heart was hammering as if it will explode out from my chest.
I hung up straightaway. I was out of breath and I still could feel my body shaking. I couldn't believe I have just done such a stupid thing.
But just as I was still recovering from my nerve-wracking experience, I received a text message.
"Did you just call me?
"No, why?" I lied but still have the courage to ask.
"You see, I just received a call with no number registered on it. I guess it must be international."
"Must be your mom." "She's out of the country too, right?" I had to press on.
"My mom never calls me." "Was it you?" He asked.
I suddenly felt the color drained from my face. How embarrassing! Now I don't know whether to tell him the truth or not. But it's too late now. He already knew. He's too smart for this kind of crap.
"Yes, it was me." I conceded. "I'm sorry I hung up on you." I pressed the letters on the keypad too quickly as if those letters were bile that I had to get it all out of my system.
"Why did you do that?" He asked.
"Because I lost the courage to speak to you" I replied.
"Don't you know that at that very moment, all I ever imagined was you and your voice?"
"I want to hear your voice, Windswept"
"Will you call me again?
ACT III
After so many nightly chats and super long phone conservations went by, we decided to meet up.
I thought long and hard about this decision. Seems to me that my heart and mind were battling against each other. My heart wanted to see him but my mind was in doubt. I was in a dilemma all of a sudden.
I was anxious yet unafraid. Excited yet unsure. But, "what if?" Would I still be asking myself this question until my last breath?
So in a sunny October afternoon, there I was, packed, ready and excited yet dreading to climb the steps of the plane heading to Manila.
My heart was in turbulence. I had palpitations and I felt sick. Too scared to disembark.
"What have I done?" I asked myself guiltily.
Then a text: "where are you?" it read.
I anxiously replied " I'm nearly there".
"What are you wearing?" he asked. He wanted to know obviously because of all those months of sharing sweet nothings, we haven't been exchanging photos. The mystery behind the voice would soon be revealed.
"Hmm, what about you? what are you wearing? I texted him back.
"C'mon, you tell me"
"Okay, I'm wearing an orange top and cream-colored shorts." I replied.
"See you!"
Just then, I heard my name called out gently. I turned around and then I saw him. Him in a white crisp shirt, dark jeans and "barely there hair." To say that he's nice was an understatement. He was too good to be true!
I had butterflies in my stomach, I felt sick and I felt cold and clammy. I never felt this way before. But I liked the feeling. And I obviously doesn't want this to end.
He kissed me on the cheek too awkward to even say "hi" and held my clammy hand almost too embarrassed to hold him back too scared that my hand would reveal what I truly felt.
Then we stared at each other's eyes, smiled and started to talk just like old friends as we walked hand in hand towards the waiting car.
There were no fireworks or sparks and certainly no expectations the first time but it was all worth it. We both took our chances and tried whether we will stay firmly glued to each other and yet against all odds, we did.
So yes, we came a long way since our first meeting. He was a stranger at first, yet he became my best friend and my loving husband.
I finally found the man who loves me more than I love him :) and that I'd say was the best part.
Life only comes around once so make sure you spend it with the right person. For those of you who yearns to be loved, find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep and kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
And you don't have to look too far, he might just be right under your nose!
Do you believe in dreams? Do you believe that at one point or another the images and emotions that are being conveyed during your sleep may actually be true?
I had this particular dream that seem to be very persistent that it was so unnerving for me to sleep thinking that this certain image would come back. The image itself wasn’t intimidating. It was the repeated presence in my sleep that makes it quite disturbing.
It goes like this:
I was in a certain room holding with one hand this white, humongous book while flipping through its blank pages on the other. When I reached the middle part of it, I saw an image. It looks like a blue pendulum in an orange background. I wasn’t sure whether it was a painting or just a random picture but the image was so vivid. I seem to be floating too at the same time while staring at the whole picture. The room was dark and it was only the image that gives the room its brilliance.
Every day, I looked for signs that would seem to bring meaning to the image but I can’t seem to find one. I looked for the colors that resembled the image but couldn’t see any.
Then it just stopped appearing. Just like that. I was so relieved to know that I can sleep more soundly now at least.
The next day was my trip back to the Philippines for my holiday. I was excited because I will see Jobert for the very first time.
And so we met. Kisses and smiles were exchanged.
The journey to his place seemed like forever. There was a long silence in between as I was still uneasy to sit beside him, while he seemed to be relaxed during the whole travel. He tried to reassure me by holding my clammy hand.
We reached his place after the long drive. I was exhausted. All I could think of was a shower and a well-made up bed for me.
As he opened the front door, imagine my surprise to see right in front of me the exact image that used to appear in my dream!
I stared at the painting for the longest time in utter disbelief.
“Where did you get that image from? Did you copy it from somewhere? And why these tints?” Questions started racing as if they were bullets being fired at him.
“No. It’s my idea. It just came straight from my mind and my inspiration.” “The colors are my favorite.” He replied.
“Why?” He asked me back.
“I can’t tell him. He might not believe me.” I thought. I felt so uneasy now.
“Is there anything you want to tell me?” He asked me again. His curiosity started creeping in.
“C’mon. What is it? Tell me.” He prodded.
“It’s just because…because…that exact image is the one that used to appear persistently in my sleep I still can’t believe it.” There I blurted it out finally. I’m sure I felt myself blushing for a second.
"Could this be the reason of it all.?" I said to myself.
"It's so surreal."
He looked at me with amusement in his eyes.
“Come here” he said.
A Taste of London
We went to Portobello Market to buy my well-loved Nenuco. The Portobello Road is as famous as the market itself as it is where the film Notting Hill was shot. It's also the place where both Jobert and I were nearly ran over by Kate Moss' black Range Rover. The white painted apartments can be visibly seen through slit eyes as the sun blinds our vision. In one manicured garden, I noticed a father and daughter perched on their antique bench under the thick foliage both engrossed in their reading materials and both oblivious to the din of the passers-by. Walking towards the end of the road is the tiny Spanish store where Nenuco is sold. We bought loads.
As we got out of the gloomy and humid underground tube, a warm blue sky and the purity of the sun welcomed us. We went to Trafalgar Square first to rest our aching feet. True enough, the fountain with its blast of cool water was enticing us to get wet. Ah, it was pure bliss.
We had lunch at the quaint French restaurant in Soho district. It was our first time and the food was superb. I will definitely be coming back for more.
I love this city. Although you got to have the perfect pins to do all the strenuous walking, it has everything you want to see and more.
The famous Portobello market
Walking towards the Spanish shop
Vibrant hues
Just took a shot of this but never tried :)
An empty music bar where we had the mouth-watering ice cream
The appropriateness of these lovelies on a sweltering heat is just heavenly!
Solitary yet recognizable
Amused by the tardy train
Heading towards Trafalgar Square
It's freakin' huge even at a distance!
Your respite here is not complete without a shot of him
The fountain in all its glory
Even Nemo would envy this
Water therapy at its finest
Skinny dipping after being enticed by the cool water
Satisfaction guaranteed at Pierre Victoire
My main course
His much needed sugar boosting, mood calming cappuccino
A dose of retail therapy at Uniqlo
Scrutinizing but hey, don't buy everything!
Oxford Circus
Where shoppers collide in delight
Malls are a no-no here....Only massive shops reside
The fashion capital
The iconic Red bus
A bicycle is dwarfed by the huge double decker
Man, Oh, Man!
Inside the Tube station
Just follow the arrow
Short stop at Jobert's fave
So as mine
Heading for home
The only reason why we went to London...
But Jobert has a special way of getting away with all these shirts!
A Taste Of Leeds
Leeds flagship store
His and Hers
Advert outside Leeds Gallery
Imposing...
Transport
Foliage
1805
Nimbus
Leeds @ night
The Light
Absolutely laveeeet! ;)
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
The Place Promised In Our Early Days
The cold wind gives off the smell of that day. The clouds are drifting fast and in between them I can see the faded blue, like in an old photograph. The straight vapor trail that has just been drawn quietly melts away in the blue as if water has been mixed in. On a day like this, the place deep in my heart that I usually don’t show to anyone slightly hurts. It’s a pain that I usually pretend doesn’t exist.
Because the world hid you from me a long, long time ago, I can’t remember your face or your form very well now. I feel that I made some sort of important promise with you one day. Since then, I’ve come through every day as if holding my breath, and now I realised I can’t remember even that promise. I also don’t even know if I’m standing at the right place right now. I’m certain that I’ll continue to lose you from now on as well.
But, I clearly remember your aura at least.
I remember how your voice echoed in the air.
I remember how your hair reflected the setting sun.
I remember how gentle your fingertips were.
I remember how you and the world were shining.
You know, I hope that my voice will reach you no matter where you are in the world. I would like to become kind and strong. I hope my voice echoes in the air of the world and some day reaches you living somewhere. I hope so, no matter how far the world hides you from me. I hope so, as long as you are alive.
I can hear the sound of that day from the sun-baked rails. Within the wind that blows from far away, your breath is quietly mixed in. Beyond the clouds, there is still the promised place from that day. Although I’m sure the world looked out upon from the green field was full of kindness in those days, I don’t know since when but I am surrounded by solitude and holding a heart creaking under the strain. I’m certain that we’ll continue to lose each other.
But your warmth continues to give me warmth.
I remember how precious the words that came from your lips were to me.
I remember how smoothly your fingernails reflected the sky.
I remember how much your back caused me to tremble.
I remember how much you and the world were full of mysteries.
You know, I pray that my song will reach you no matter where you are in the world. I would like to become kind and strong. I hope that our voices echo in the air of the world and that some day they reach the two of us who live far apart. I hope so, as long as we are alive.
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(From the Anime of the same title)
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Everyday's a Different Story
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30/05/08
The Faces That Could Munch A Thousand Crisps
Sensations, Twiglets, Doritos, Popcorn and Marshmallows---you name it, we have it, and we munched it all for just less than 24 hours. While the patient was in deep slumber, the sound of crackling crisps could be heard audibly on an eerily quiet night as we, the night nurses were munching on this unhealthy and moorish treats that at the end of our long and boring shift, we had bellies larger than our waistlines!
Moments to your lips, lifetime to your hips....true, true!
31/05/08
A Taste Of London
Our trip to London is booked and our e-ticket has been printed out. Can't wait! I just hope the weather would behave though. I've had enough with sunless summers already.
01/06/08
A Weak Me
I'm sick again. The nth time this year. The makers of the "wonder" medicine called: Day Nurse, will surely be thankful that they have a loyal customer like me who can't live without them. I'm not hooked to them, I'm just dependent on them, if you know what I mean. But hugs and kisses are still the best remedies for illness and thankfully, I have Jobert to give me all these for free.
02/06/08
Li'l Cherub
No medicine can ever compare it's healing wonders than a smile and a hug from a child. Today, my adorable Aaliyah had come to visit us. How she managed to put up with my involuntary sneeze, God knows! But apart from the shock look on her face everytime I spread the virus, she seems to be enjoying her stay with us. With her oral stage apparent, she devours everything from both edible and non-edible objects if she has the opportune time. A living proof that we humans are by nature, omnivores.
03/06/08
Still a Weak Me
It's still a "weak me" day today. My angry cough and sore throat had woken me up. My tasteless buds dominated my urge to eat some nice enticing food. I could only do with sweets at the minute which is not helping with my sore throat either. I'm back to work tomorrow so whether I like it or not, I definitely need to be up and about or my tiny behind will be riddled with nasty pressure sores!
Jobert had told me many times already to go have a shower. I don't have the strength to do it as yet.
Stubborn and frail, yup, that's me.