Love Mode

Love is when my husband wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead as he listens wilfully to the trickling sound on the proof of my existence.....

My pee :)

Kayo? What does love mean to you?

xxx

Misery Loves Company

I'm sad and I feel guilty because I have no reason to be, but I am...

Not An Urban Myth

This letter truly exists, in fact, this has landed onto our coffee table yesterday and has turned our humdrum day into a happy "period".

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you fucking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, Texas

Dear Baby,

After too much hyped about it on the net, I've finally decided to leave you. I know I just got to do it. I do apologize for the embarrassment I've caused you.


I'm really sorry but I've met someone else...someone virtual :)



Don't get mad ok? I love you!

Say What?

I read an entry on a patient's careplan from a previous shift that brought me to stitches: Mr. ***** ate a bowel of cereal.

It's amazing how a single letter can change the whole meaning of the sentence and, how, the purveyor of the signature below it had just ruined his reputation :)

Ang mga puti talaga kung mag-spell wala sa ayos!

Bowel of soup anyone?

Guardian Forces

I always brushed aside the idea that we have a benevolent guard of nature in our midst, more so for Jobert that is. He claimed that before his great-grandfather died, he handed over his "tagabantay" to him as his "Pamana." Now Jobert is not a great believer of anything spiritual (he's an atheist) and supernatural but he graciously accepted the guardian as his own.
But if there's anything that I desperately hope is true is not the "guardian" but the concept of karma. Many of us uses it as a means of consolation to every unfortunate situation that are beyond our control. Karma can be malevolent or benevolent and it all depends on the person's deeds. It is humbling to know that if a person does harm you, that person is all well-taken cared of by karma.
Over the years, Jobert and I have been toyed with, wronged, and sometimes can be the source of gossip. If it's up to me, I would definitely act on instinct and inflict painful words and deeds to those who created the scenario. I may be tiny but I can be vengeful too. It is so easy to think the worst for that person. But I don't want to take avenge if I'll only regret it later. My only option is to leave it to karma or in Jobert's case, the guardian, because one won't disappoint. For me, karma clearly knows when to strike and to whom.
Now, everytime Jobert hears anything about an ex-friend's misfortune, he would always say: "malas lang nila. Di ba nila alam may tagabantay ako?"

That, or karma.

Picket Fences

I have received a message from my closest friend in the U.S. inviting us over for a holiday. It's been a long three years since we've not seen each other apart from the odd phone calls which happens ?once or twice a year. She and her brood are the sweetest bunch ever and I loved them all to bits. Our friendship started way back in Singapore where we have the same passion for shopping. Always without fail, when we shop, we were each other's guilty conscience. And more often than not, we were always the guiltless shoppers. Wala pa kasing credit crunch nun. We spent too much time together just hanging out, sharing our diet secrets (even hiding the diet gel under the pillow from friends!); bought the same style of Nike trainers after we got our first gym membership card but not used it since after we went home with aching muscles and sore backs; and was caught at Malaysian Immigration for buying a rucksackfull of pirated VCD's (there's actually more to it but I'm not spilling the beans!)
We had a few chances to meet up when we both moved here in England and have shared the same adventures and misadventures (like Punting at the back of Cambridge's Colleges). We used to visit them in Cambridge for a short overnight stay but still, the time spent together was all worthwhile. When they decided to move to the U.S., I was crestfallen. But seeing them all too certain about their plans for the future, I felt that there is no turning back for them and just wished them all the best.
Now, they're all settled in the US surrounded by white picket fences and enjoying the warm Californian sunshine. I can almost feel a bittersweet smile etching on my face as I took the trip down memory lane and remembered the things we did together and things we did differently but planned together, then. They may be distance away from us but they're the sort of friends that are worth keeping and they will be always in our hearts.
Definitely next year, we'll see you and we'll paint your white picket fences red ;)


At Hull Marina


At Cambridge

Hard Core

Sometimes, a neurosurgeon would remove a part of a patient's skull during surgery to relieve the pressure of the brain making the brain swell a lot more yet saving the patient's life.
If that patient recovers, do you think he or she would feel:

vulnerable or thankful?

If a turtle loses it's shell, do you think it'll feel:

vulnerable or free?

When Green Eyes Turn Red

Being a "student" man's wife is not easy, in fact, it's the second hardest role as to being a mom to a terrible two, albeit it's fun, I would still gladly accept the latter with open arms.

So much so that I've realized a few things:

1. Friends and classmates come first.
2. Pub is the new home.
3. Women are from Venus. Men are from Hell.

Junk Stack

Quite an understatement if you can check the contents of our cupboard. But I can assure you that even after their expiry dates, these lot will still be intact and expired in the true sense of the word.
Bottomline is that my taste buds sometimes can go haywire and my cravings are just takaw-tingin.

Nil

There.

I've changed it.

Satisfied?

'M talking bout my header.

B!tc*

Yes. That's me.

My alter-ego.

------------------------------------------
My baby totally lost it when he noticed that I've not used the header he specifically made for me---thus the change.

Meet My Furry Slippers

A cutie fella' named Li'l Yella'
Was out to make everyone betta'
When he saw his lonely friend, Li'l Green
Everything became perky again.

One cold autumn night
The two had a fright
Coz out of the corner of their li'l eyes
They saw what they thought was a mice.

They brace themselves to come closer
Yet they can't help but feel the shiver
But what they saw were clammy tootsies
Of Li'l Chezza's glammy footsies.

Coz Li'l Yella' wants everyone to get betta'
He wrapped his furry paws to Li'l Chezza
And there to help was his cuddly friend Li'l Green
So Li'l Chezza's tootsies became warm and cozy again.